sexual attraction

Sex. It can be beautiful. It can be terrifying. It's sometimes messy. But it is perfectly normal.

Attraction

Most of us guys when we meet a woman and we are sexually attracted to her (which happens almost all the time) we try to hide our sexual attraction (except when we are drunk or outside of our normal environment) without even thinking about it. Have you ever given thought as to why you do this? In my case, I've come to the conclusion that it must be because of the deep religious and cultural conditioning that was drilled into me a long long time ago when I was still a little boy going to an all boy's catholic school. I am sure that there are other factors besides the two that I mentioned, but I am not consciously aware of them. At any rate, my investigation in this important aspect of life is an on-going process. Anyway, at this point it does not really matter what those causes were, what matters is that: I know that I have been conditioned to think that sex is dirty, wrong and only to be done in a very specific life context (to procreate inside of a marriage), and that I am starting to undo this conditioning's long-lasting negative effects.

Deception

So what happens when a guy meets a woman that he is attracted to? He automatically suppresses the sexual energy that he feels. He presents himself as someone who wants to be friends with her, someone who is safe. That's the energy he puts out consciously. As a result this is how she is going to see you - someone who wants to be friends with her, someone safe, someone gender-less. To most guys this sounds normal and okay. But the effect is that you have ruined the chances of the two of you becoming sexual. In reality it is a deception. Because your real objective, your M.O., behind the deception is to get her to trust you as a friend and then when you have earned her trust and friendship you are going to then let her know that you are attracted to her and then ambush her with your sexual overtones. She then gets confused and you get angry and bitter. At this stage it is almost impossible for her to see you sexually and become attracted to you in that way. If you are in this familiar situation, don't blame her. It is most likely your fault. Learn your lesson, walk away and deal with your pain yourself. Let that pain be a reminder of your deception. Don't worry about hurting her feelings - women are a lot stronger emotionally than men give them credit for. Of course I'm oversimplifying the scenario. There are infinite variations of the story, but that's the gist. I know because I have many of these stories.

Attraction generation - be real

Now, if you want to be real with a woman it's pretty simple. From the first moment you meet her let her see you right away as a sexual being from the very beginning of your interaction. Let your sexual attraction towards her show with your actions and the energy you put out. Don't say it, do it. Let her know it. Don't hide it. No deception. I don't mean for you to grab her breasts or her ass. Don't disrespect her! It's wrong! What you do is to tease her. Bust her balls. Flirt with her. Don't let her get away with being a brat, a snob, a bitch. Don't be too nice to her. Don't tell her she's pretty. Don't tell her you're attracted to her. That's usually all manipulative. And be light and easy about all this. Make it fun for you and her. Don't be serious. Just play. But Always be respectful. Women understand this language. This is what they respond to.

Don't get me wrong though - I am not saying that you should be a jerk or be dishonest. That's what bad boys do. Be honest and sincere with her, but don't become a wuss. You want to be a man that she can trust and respect.

Women want to be led

Once you have her attention and you know that she knows that you are sexually attracted to her, then you have to lead her each step of the way. All the way to your goal. If she's really into you and she's the pro-active type she'll help you out along the way. That's nice. But don't count on it. And don't get used to it. She could turn a different direction at any moment. She's going to test you. And she might not even be conscious of it. That's just evolution at work. So don't complain about her testing you. Look at her tests as a sign that she is interested; otherwise she won't bother. So always be ready for anything.

Test her

You too should be testing her all along. Wouldn't you want to know if the she's the type of woman that would be good to be with right from the beginning? I personally want a woman who is sincere and honest, intelligent, imaginative, open-minded, has a high self-esteem and loyal. So I look for signs that she has these qualities from the beginning so as not to waste my time and energy. And I test her to see how she responds to different situations. Oftentimes you only get to know a person's true character under duress.

You are the man - love women

Always remember that you are the man. If you lead she will follow. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, because you will. If things don't work out with her consider it as a life lesson and then you move on and get on with the business of living, until you become comfortable with walking away from any woman; until you become the man that really loves women.

Good luck!